My Symphony

“They are not learning from you. They will not grow under you.” Those are the phrases or statements that marked my day yesterday. Honestly, I am really upset not only to the situation but most of all to myself.

I got an idea who maybe that or those people who said those statements. But on one thought, those maybe not the exact statements thrown by him/her. It maybe exaggerated by the messenger.  I dont know! Who will really know in between chaos?

I remember myself when I was studying. I remember that I blamed my teachers for I wasn’t able to know my lectures. I blamed them for I wasn’t developed as I am now. I wasn’t able to be at par with my classmates. I was far behind with them considering our teacher teaching us same lectures.

As time passes, things are getting brighter and clearer to me. Making me realized lots of things. It is not the teacher but it’s me. Only me.

Learning is always within a person. The eagerness of a person to learn will bring him/her to the state that he/she is dreaming to be at. Asking question is not a manifestation of idiocy but an enthusiastic response to get ahead. Teachers are your guide but not the reason of learn. It always comes first within you. They don’t know what you really don’t know.

I’ve learned that the best teacher is yourself, ourselves. Knowing what we still dont’ know, knowing what we should learn is the first step of success. But put to your mind that success is not only one step.

I turned 27 yesterday.  I would say I just had a usual day which I really prefer.  I really don’t want to celebrate my birthday for no reason at all? I slept whole day and forgot to take my meals.  Many friends greeted me on my day and even today.  Thank you for all of you.

I took my leave today at the office.  I woke up late, as usual.  After lunch I prepare myself to renew my license in PRC.  But before leaving, I left my mom crying.  We don’t have argument but she is a little bit upset about me coz I never took my meal the whole day yesterday also today.  I don’t know if that’s really what she is upset about.

I had this feeling that the news has reached her ears.  I am looking for my own place last Saturday, January 17, 2009.  I am planning now to live on my own which I don’t know if my mom would permits me.  Actually, she doesn’t have any choice and she knows that I can really do that. Anyways, let’s forget it.

I went to gateway mall to recopy my picture then go to PRC.  After filing my renewal, I went to St. Jude Parish then to SM Megamall.  Honestly, I think I am not own my normal thinking that time.  I let my feet bring me anywhere.  I am supposed to buy anything but I end up nothing on my bag.  Hayyy… I just let my body get tired.  After that, I met my friends in my hide out.  Sipped a cup coffee to relax, ate some food while chatting with them.

It’s already 10 PM so we have to go home.  I really don’t want to go home yet that time.  I don’t know why.  Maybe I haven’t realized yet my plans for this year which is not normal to me.  But I don’t have a choice coz I am with my friend who really wanna go home already.

We rode an FX going home.   When I reached the gate of our village (an open village), there’s not nothing unusual outside the gate.   I walked peacefully and still nothing on my head.  Four houses before ours, I dialed a number of my friend who is in Cebu that time.  We have to talk coz I think he has important thing say.

I saw a guy facing the light post four houses before ours.  Still nothing on head that time.  Then there’s another guy riding in his motorbike asked me for a direction.  I don’t know if I am just courteous or a damn.  I answered his question just before I finished my instruction I found myself on the hand of a “Diablo.”  His left hand is in my right arm while the other hand is with his knife which is on my left face too.  I haven’t notice it until he told me that he will kill me.

I don’t feel afraid that night.  I looked straight into his eyes.  Blank and not aware that it might be my end.  His red eyeballs almost fell from his eyes. My heart doesn’t even have nervous of the scenario.  I don’t know if it because I am ready to go peacefully or it’s just because I am not in myself that time.  I even realize the statement I said to my friends while we are on coffee shop that time.  “Malay mo, this is the last time I’m gonna spent mylife with you.”

Ok.  Have to take my rest now.  I got a long day today.  I wish everything will be fine tomorrow.  Let’s put this now to my dearest diary.  A near death experience a day after my 27th birthday.

Again friends, I need your contacts.  I haven’t backed up my phone.  Just leave your number on my message box then I’ll confirm it upon renewal of my numbers with globe and smart.  Unfortunately, for my sun contacts, I have to change my number coz sun never renew a number.

The sun hid

…and the dark had come

I packed my things

…and go as usual

Though worries bugging me

…while in a ride

I recognized our life

…like a parallel lines

When I reached my hiding place

…for me to hibernate

I’m glad some are there

…sat with me in a cup of coffee

I am in my fortress

…but my thoughts not in this castle

I am in my world

…as if everything is unknown

Conversation with them

…made me awaken

My life had gone far

…but left me behind

My past held me back

…and cannot move out

Please take me here

…where I got slacked.

I found myself this morning

…walking in the rain while the sun keeps shining

As I open that door

…an empty room painted in one color

A shade of blue

…hides the rainbow

I closed my eyes

…the Nile overflowed in the middle of my heart

Now I’m here can not breathe

…and stuck in so deep

I simply dreamt

…where the other had been

Will it be in reality?

…or stay in fantasy?

Where happy endings

…only could be

Seeing you in flesh

…made myself unrest

You just made me realize

…how my life so in depressed

All I know is to do what I want to do

All I care what would be beneficial to me

I don’t even listen to all of your signs

I am pre occupied of the things I desire

This selfishness brought me in the dark

Forgive me for being like this

I know you will guide me

And be the light in my way

Sorry for being I am

I want change to be the one you deserve

Forgive me and sorry

Everyday you only hear to me are complaints

Unnoticed all the blessings you have showered me

I should be thankful in all of your grace

That in this way you were always here

Embracing me and protecting me

Forgive me for being like this

I know you will guide me

And be the light in my way

Sorry for being I am

I tried to change to be the one you deserve

Forgive me, sorry

Since I entered in this company, I’ve always committed tardiness. I don’t know why I am becoming like this. Even I tried my best to be in the office early, I always end up late. Most of time, I got stuck in the traffic and of course I am also woke up late. Due to this, I opt to stay in the office even late.

My status in our company is really vague. I am not yet a manager and will not be coz there is no vacancy above me. Though I am not a manager, I am enjoying a privilege of not being deducted for any late, which I really utilized for more than three months. I never had been in the office on time.

Last week, the verdict just came out. I was awarded. Yeah, awarded a first and final memo. I was really embarrassed because this is my first time to receive a memo and the funny thing is, it is because of late. From a higher scorer in the first half of the year, here I am, one of the never heard names in the company.

I know I cannot blame them in giving me that memo because for, I think, last three weeks or a month ago, there was a time I got an under-time. What I should do now is to re-educate myself to be discipline and to make up for all of this shortcomings. I know it will take time for me to gain it back what I am to them before and I know there is also lot of chance that I cannot bring it back anymore. I just hope that things will be in their proper places before it’s too late.

We’ve come to the end of our stay in Baguio but we still have lots of places to visit.  We have realized that three days and two nights our not so enough to explore the beauty of the place. At same time, we should have our own car for us to go back and forth to the places that we want to go to.

We woke up early that day because we need to attend a mass and look around for some other places.  We only have few hours left before lifting to a bus going back in Manila.  As we walked the Harrison Road and Session Road, our breath was smoking so cold.  I thought I would experience that in other country.

The Cathedral – For us to be able to get inside the church, we need to take stair having, I think, 150 steps above the ground.  Inside the church you’ll notice that the city still preserving the culture they have and the symbols of Christianity.  Jesus Christ was wearing a woven dress of a native people from that place, the priest was accompanied by dancing indigenous people while entering the hall way and the prayer leaflets was written in their dialect, which I don’t understand. 

Baguio Convention Center – This is where normally some events were being held like Ad Congress, Seminars, Forums, etc.  We are not able to get inside because we only have few hours left in our schedules.

UP Baguio – How can we forget one of the pride schools of Baguio, the University of the Philippines Baguio?  We never noticed that this is just near at the terminal of Victory Liner in our first day of visit.  Though the campus is not as big as Diliman, the benches and batibot is located in strategic places, which is under the pine trees which is more attractive for me.

Sunshine Park – It is a small park located beside the UP Baguio.  That time, the day of our visit, there are few flowers in that park but you’ll notice that this is a nice quiet place to hang out.

The Museum – It was frustrating visiting that museum on Sunday or Holiday.  It was close that time so we never see anything.  What we just do was took picture outside the building which I rarely do here in Manila.

Final Lunch – Though we still want to stay, we need to pack up going back in Manila.  We have our lunch in Mang Inasal at SM Baguio.  We are the first customers of that food chain for that day.  We have our final lunch, which I think we enjoyed because we don’t have left over.

Photos: Dream Vacation

It was really tiring having walks in very stiff streets of Baguio but it was really exciting. It was my plan to walk all day in that city for me to imbibe the feelings of being there. How can I forget the Session Road and the Harrison Road? I walked several times in that streets for three days. What a really good experience?

Before we started our second day, we made plans for all the places that we should visit. We really want to explore its beauty. We want to have the feeling of fulfillment in realizing one of our dreams, the vacation in Baguio.

We woke up early hoping that we could visit lots of places for that day but something happened unexpectedly. We got a wrong timing going to PMA, my camera got battery empty because my friend restarted the charging that morning and it rained in the afternoon. How frustrating it was but still we really enjoyed.

Philippine Military Academy – A school for most, if not all, military aspirants want to enroll because of the training they have. A dream school for all those want to be part of the service people in Armed Forces of the Philippines, Philippine Air Force and the Philippine Marines. A golden gate for those who dreamed to serve and protect the people of the Philippines and its government.

Camp John Hay – A dream place to live on of a nature lover like me. My soul felt the serenity I am looking for. A place of calmness that the environment providing. If I could just have money, I’ll prefer to have place and live there.

Mines View Park – How can I forget the thing my eyes could only own, the horizon of green mountains in Mines View Park? My heart was pounding so fast because of the excitement that it felts while gazing the wonderful creation of the Man Above. I wish I were a wind touching the face of beautiful nature of the world.

The Mansion – Well, it would just let you feel how good to be a president of the Philippines for having a good vacation house like The Mansion in Baguio City. Besides the benefit of nature you’ll have in there, there are guards over seeing the place to keep you safe.

Wright Park – I like the mini-Washington D.C. place in front of the “The Mansion”. The flowers are scattered all over the place and the green trees will make you relax. It makes you feel the symphony of nature as you heard the soothing sounds of bird all over the place.

The Market – Goodies, goodies and a lot of goodies. Here where we bought some “pasalubongs”. Stroll and stroll in looking for a good stuff with a reasonable price. Lots of people moving back and forth on the search for their goodies, asking for a good price with the sales persons all over the place.

Photos: Dream Vacation

It took me several times of attempts in going to Baguio this year but at last I made it in reality.  My plan was to get there on my own but it had a sudden change because I realized that I need someone to take pictures of me.  Besides, it is much fun if I have friend/s with me exploring the beauty of the place.

After the whole day work of October 11 we go straight to Baguio and leave Quezon City at 11 P.M.  I felt anxious because I don’t know what we will encounter in that place.  I don’t know how accommodating they were. Are they like people here in Manila especially in Quezon City wherein people took advantage of the innocence of others?  But the feeling of excitement is also there because I am a nature lover and I know the place is really bounty by its natural beauty.

The Arrival

We arrived in our destination at 5 A.M. of October 12, 2007, one hour ahead in our allotted time of travel.  Actually, I am glad that we arrived early because I can’t take anymore the air-con of the bus.  I was really chilling in my seat when we still in our way.

Before looking for a place to stay on, we went first in a convenient store to have some hot chocolate and to buy city map.  We need that because we don’t have tourist guide with us and that was also our first time to stand in the City of Pines.  It is also helpful for us in listing what will be our itinerary in our stay there.

The Start Of The Day

Bell Church – The structure is really wonderful.  I felt that I was not in Baguio but as if in Hong Kong or China.  The dragon sculptures, the pagoda inside the place, the church where it is located and the silence will make you feel the peacefulness of the earth.

Strawberry Farm – Though we knew it is not season for the strawberries, we still visited the Strawberry Farm.  We just want to see where the fruits are being raised.  We bought also preserved strawberry jam and some items that we can have.

City Hall Park – The park in front of the city hall is so relaxing.  The coolness of the weather, the beauty of the trees and the aroma of flowers will make you unwind.  I was also captured by the sculpture they had in the park.  It shows the culture not only of the city but instead the whole Filipino.

Lourdes Grotto – I felt that I am near the heaven because of its height and its serenity.  I haven’t counted how many steps it has but I guess it is more than 250.  We offer sampaguita and light up candles in giving our thanks that we have arrived safely.

Burnham Park  - It is really huge park that I ever walk on.  I noticed how happy those people we encountered in riding a pedal boat located at the middle of the park.  I noticed the sparks in their eyes while looking at the beauty of the city.

Starbucks SM Baguio – How can we take out in our body circulation the coffee of the Starbucks?  Even in Baguio we never forget to have some Espresso.  Same as in other branches, the bar-itas are really friendly.  Well, that’s the reason why I am most of the time stay in coffee shop.

Photos: Dream Vacation